Today I spent most of the day ‘looking’ at a series of silly little laminated homestead type things…

 HomeStead III, oil on panel 2014-18

HomeStead III, oil on panel 2014-18

 Was this a productive use of my time? It’s hard to know, I can not even tell you if they are good painting… I mean I like them [or at least I think I do] but am I tightening up too much by worrying about creating images with an eye to posting them online? With these little paintings the more I look the more I seem to be just poking around the edges… no flow! It’s all just too precious; but as an artist your work is meant to be seen and so it has to be brought to a point where it can be exhibited somewhere, but I need to find a way to both do this while inducing more ‘flow’ 

 For me ‘flow’ is induced simply by taking out an old painting and deciding to obliterate it with a new image: after I choose my source material and mix up the few colours that I am going to use, I will then be able to lose myself in that piece for the next few hours, as I freely destroy the old painting by finding new and exciting forms in the fresh paint that is applied. But this free-flowing feeling can’t be constantly maintained [I don’t have enough old paintings for one] and the question is: are the paintings produced in this intense state good enough to stand on their own, or do they also need that slow hard fought battle that I spend so much more of my time endeavouring to win? Maybe the works are only resolved by balancing these two forces to create something that both happens naturally as of a force of nature - that is then ‘looked’ at, considered and shaped by the mind.